“Don’t fool with mother nature. You will end up paying for a new leach line”
-Joe of Joes’s Sanitation Service
Undisclosed Location in the Austrailian Outback near the Woomera Prohibited Area (State College plus five months): Floppy raves and rants, “you no longer have a cell phone, stop looking for it in your pocket! It’s part of your past, it’s gone!”
Floppy angrily tosses a few more half dry branches in the fire and places three pots of water on to boil.
Floppy’s murderous gleam relates the seriousness of paying attention to his deranged logic as he starts into the parable. “Pay attention!!!! In these pots I’m putting three items. In the first pot we put a wild carrot, and no it’s not because I’m a freakin bunny! I don’t like carrots! In this second pot I’m putting a goanna egg. Lastly in the fnal pot I’m putting in some coffee grounds.”
“Now take another hit of Kumyss, and look at the finished products in each pot.”
Looking down at the contents of each pot a bit disgusted, especially at the overboiled lizard egg. Training in the way of the Bunny has been a weary experience with possible misgivings at times. It has been five long months since I have become the disciple in the path of the wayward Bunny. The effectiveness of the Bunny touch of death cannot be doubted as thousands search for the former mideast tyrant that is now a mouldering corpse ( See Chapter 4: The Last Known Whereabouts of Floppy the Angel, Floppy the Demon ) in a lava tube cave on Easter Island. Floppy’s weakness for the fine flavor of fermented Yak’s milk liquor was the main driver of this evil tyrant’s demise.
Another gulp of the fiery liquid assists in the attempt to understand the mutated giant bunny’s brain.
“Now, what does this training mean to you! Look at the pots. Will this experience soften and weaken you like that pathetic carrot, giving up and going back to that ridiculous cold state in failure! Or will become hardened like that disgusting, which by the way is your supper, goanna egg? OR like the coffee grounds in this final pot will you evolve into something different and possibly better than what the original ingredients was?”
Answering I will become the hard egg, Floppy loses his temper and cracks his rattan walking stick on the back of my skull. Taking the hint on what Floppy expects I revise my answer on evolving like the coffee flavored water. Floppy still looks a bit pissed, but then again he is Floppy and that’s his nature. Attempting to shut out the flashing stars from the acute effects of the rattan stick and the mild alcohol poisoning of too many sips of Kumyss, adjust the mosquito netting over the surplus tent and prepare for another day of enlightenment in the path of the Wayward Bunny. Dreams of dolphins with Post slide rules, sticky buns that become faces, and the infamous Texas Tavern Happy Hour engage my sleeping hours before the next leg of the trek begins.
“What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.”
-former Vice President Dan Quale